Sunday, June 25, 2006

top 10 reasons to be a drug addict vs. food addict

1. drug addicts have much more cachet and respect than food addicts
2. you can't quit food
3. if you're a coke whore, you get real thin
4. if you're a heroin addict, you vomit every time you dose. hence, you get thin
5. a meritage of highs await
6. recovering addicts have slogans
7. alienating your family is a guilt free slam dunk
8. it's far more cool to say, I'm jonesing for an 8 ball. it's not even remotely cool to say, man, I'm gettin' the shakes. I gotta score some mac & cheese.
9. recovering addicts get cakes if they maintain sobriety for "x" amount of time
10. volatile and unpredictible mood swings that blow a writer's creative process away!

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