Friday, June 02, 2006

jewergies

if I don't stop sneezing and harkin and shmarkin, I'm gonna rip the sinuses right out of my mother fuckin cock suckin head. (oh, the ironies)

I called my allergist and asked him if he could do a sinusectamy. apparently you need your sinuses. whatever. do you honestly think I'd miss sneezing?

I have been up since 4AM sneezing like it's the last fucking time my nose will EVER have the opportunity to sneeze.

do allergies fall under the stigmata umbrella? would be nice to benefit from said sneeze fests.

I've got antihistamines strapped to my body at all times and no matter how many I pop, I still can't stop sneezing. If one more god damned mud fucking hippy suggests thistle berry, I'm going to scream.

I didn't know that gout was caused by eating rich foods. I collect archie comic books. mr. weatherbee's got it something awful.

cormac brown has a very funny short essay about the spider protocol in his house. he doesn't whack them. read it.

I wonder if I would've made a good dominatrix. I hear there's big money in domination. like I couldn't get my swirl on being a pushy pain in the ass?! hi! that's the chewey jewey way. what's bad:

  • get your ass in the closet and stay there!
  • clean my house!
  • menstruate on my behalf. oh, what's that, pussy boy, you can't? well, someone better find the way and fast!

1 comments:

Write Procrastinator said...

You know a pen name isn't quite working out for you when you see it and you go, "wow, that name sounds familiar...who is that?"

Try some Alavert, darlin'. It won't get rid of the sneezing, but it dries out the sinuses pretty well with one-tenth of the drowsiness of other meds.

"menstruate on my behalf. oh, what's that, pussy boy, you can't? well, someone better find the way and fast!"

Wow, that triggered a Pavlovian-response of Bobbitt porportions. Wince, grab crotch, shift to the side, repeat.

 

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