Katie Schwartz

Let's bullet point this bitch, shall we?! Long ass week from hell, though filled with beautiful moments. Deadlines galore, I'm glad about that. Awaiting feedback. Def on edge. I skew neurotic as often as possible. Big eye doctor appt on Monday or Tuesday, will know more on Monday. Noivous like nobody's bizola. I digress. An old friend who used to call me by my middle name Louie, popped up out of nowhere and it was great to hear from him. Missing another friend HARD, realizing that he never really was a friend to begin with, so I'm bluejewin' it for a minee. Running errands. Just bought two of Adam Deutsch's poetry books and I can't wait for them to arrive. Maybe I should stop listening to "Dr. Feelgood" and brush/floss and flee from the house for a minee. Yes, that's what I'll do. I've hit many of my favey blogs this AM and some dishy new ones, too, thanks to FranIAm and Politits. More reading ahead, to be sure. I'm off like a pro...

Yesterday morning, my sister Ker and I decided to hit a few gahoroohj sales. We began at Pete's for some butch Joe and schlepped around the hood. Nothing doing for blocks until we stumbled upon this situation: a gun packing, badge toting security guard. ?! He was 6ft. tall with a supple bosom and Charlie Chaplin eyebrows (plucked to perfection), a 14K gold plated chain around his neck and a heaaaaaaaaavy Greek accent. We circled the spot a few times, not sure we should risk it. Would he bust out his gun and point it in our direction if we picked up an item and held it longer than 2 minutes? 5 minutes? 7 minutes? Were the owners of the house selling high ticket tchoch? Were they famous? Infamous? After circling the house a few times, in the cheeriest tone, Agadore instructed us to park. We were curious and nervous, so we did. Aggie welcomed us a la Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island . This moment needed to be preserved on film. Pretending to take pictures of the garden, I positioned mys...

Full article here . I can't tell you how deeply saddened I was to see this video and read about this. A man was hit by a car TWICE and ignored by passing cars and pedestrians. Is it the shock that makes you not want to run to the middle of the street and hold his hand and tell him that he'll be okay, and that help is on the way? What is it? Because I REALLY need to know. PS: Don't forget to sign the Million for Marriage Petition right here .

Please Sign this Petition . Please, please, please . Loving....

From Tiffalish of UnScene Chicago : " Show your opposition to this homophobic, bigoted, and mean-spirited bill to amend the Constitution " You need to read it and oppose it. To say it's offensive is a compliment. What year is it? Oh, right, 2008. In case you're worried about what God thinks, believe me, God created homosexuals and heterosexuals equally. It is about time America woman up and man up, and get with the God damned program. Astonishing Adventures Magazine is now officially in print and available on Amazon! Run. Read. Now. Mazel Tov, Lewch, Tim and Katherine. Excellent job, yo. This read is pulp heaven. When pitching yourself for a job raising someone else's children, you might not want to use an email address that reads: "leather" and "nanny" before @. Just a thought. Did you read about the Air force Chief that Resigned ? " Gates said his decision was based mainly on the damning conclusions of an internal report on the mistake...

Ages and ages and aggggggggggges ago, I posted about the secret life of twist-ties. Remember? You don't? Okay, check it out here . I was OCD'ng hard about TT's at the time (what else is new?!) I got a comment a few weeks ago regarding that post from RyanD. I saved it, hoping there was an e-addy attached, but there wasn't. However, I did look him up and he's a Twist-tie artist and sculptor and his work is pretty tt-fly. Check it out, yo .

I love web hosting emails with subject lines that read No Rack Fees . It always makes me think of the twins and how affordable it would be if they would just cross over to the bra space. Right now, I'm averaging $25 a tit for airport-security-alarm bra support. Speaking of breasts, I saw Bill was on the news yesterday regarding the many women he's fucked and continues to fuck. Um. DUH. Every generation of woman I know wants Billy's willy in her Wageeena. He could be 110, hobbling on a cane and I'd still want him to dine on my Y. I'm so tired today. All I want to do is make myself horizontal. I can't though, too much to do. Argharooney. Speaking of Rooney, does Mickey still have a pulse? Okay, that was cunty. I take it back. I'm just so damn tired. I think I'm procrastinating. Yup. That's it, I'm being a big screaming procrastinating douche.