Katie Schwartz

have ya's seen paul sing nessun dorma? it's off the hook, yo. if you love nessun dorma as much as I do and oh boy do I love it hard, you will spit twice and die! play now.

menstrual watch 2007 is tapering. I didn't have to purchase heritage library sized menstrual wear for my vagina this month, so I'm real pleased about that. did you know tampons are satan's little cotton fingers ? I think I got that link from guthy , wp or doc . I can't remember. forgive jewgirl. I'm not a born again, which means I'm allowed to shove any god damned thing up my flange I damn well please. do we know if christians masturbate? what's the scoop on vibrators? are they the devil's work? years ago, I wrote a joke about housing villages and cities in my womb. I have to find it and post it. did you read about the kid born in new zealand . yeah. his parents wanted to name him 4real. the judge said no. no. no. that the name was unfair to the child. no shit. this really is a bubs post. I feel guilty posting bubsy oriented posts, though guilt is my cardio. that's all I got right now. I have to get back to writing. I'm completely stuck on thi...

larry birkhead sold another yarn to ok magazine about anna nicole's spawn, dannielynn. do we all agree that the name dannielynn and the spelling is wildly white trash? ok. good. "She has long legs and chubby little toes exactly like Anna's; it's like a mirror image," Birkhead tells OK! magazine in its latest issue. "It's really incredible. And I think her lips are her mom's lips; especially when she pouts. ... She also gets what she wants exactly like her mom always did as soon as she'd pout." to me this reads like a future lifetime for television semicolon movie. dannielynn: once daddy's little girl. now his lovah at the supple age of 16 . maybe it's because I'm writing an essay about molestation (funny of course), but I don't think so. and then there's this... "I'm really hands-on, like too hands-on with my hand on the baby, a hand on the cell phone, a hand on the diaper," says Birkhead, who jokes that he ...

40-Year-Old Former Teacher Marries 16-Year-Old Student . kid's parents actually signed a marriage consent form. the shame. I don't care how miserable my kid was making me or how much she was ignoring me. no way on god's green earth would I give my 16-year-old daughter permission to marry anyone. I find this story so disturbing. why can't legal charges be brought against him? they were shtupping and romantically engaged when he was her coach. the shame.

I'm taking a peenyatus (penis hiatus). why isn't penis spelled, peenis ? cock hunting will resume in the fall. I'm actually quite glad I'm taking a dick break. cbb (can't be bothered) with dishing, jhsushing, hymen sparring -- none of it. by the time I'm ready to throw myself back on the market, my cuntarella will be one ravenous whore. I can live with that. menses watch 2007 continues. the hurricane is so epic, I'm ready to send in the encyclopedia of maxi-pads. let's hope it doesn't come to that. wiki says that each cycle only produces 80 ml of blood (1/2 cup). right. more like 180 ml (1 cup). show me a dame who produces a half cup per cycle and I'll show you the menstrual reduction pill she's gobbling. whatchya's doin this weekend? juice and I are schlepping to the park. I'm writing. cleaning. hitting a few gayroohj sales and probably ebaying myself into a frenzy. speaking of egay (it is a queens paradise, donchya know), the cunt...

we're 3-days into the war zone betwixt my thighs and my ovum is giving me one hell of a ride this month. cramps. clots. and a tsunami flow. this menses just might make it into the menstrual hall of fame. a girl can dream. today it hit me that change really is brewing in my direction. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I had a very busy day. I mean really busy. do ya's ever listen to vintage tupac? have you heard the songs dear mama or keep your head up ? beautiful. dear mama keep your head up

lewchers sent me the funniest 5 second video, I have ever seen in my entire life. I kid you not. make sure your sound is up and watch it at least a half dozen times. you will scream. it's too much.