Katie Schwartz

my best friend is gay. in college, I was a fag hag. but, what chubby jewgirl in pink high heels with big tits wasn't?! I love a voracious pig bottom as much as the next butch or bear top. I think that brokeback mountain is an exquisite, profoundly moving, and long overdue gay love story. now... having said that... if it were any mother fucking slower, I would've fucking shot myself in the god damned fucking head. and the whole mountain-is-the-fourth-character, thing. oh-my-god. I wanted to scream, COULD YA JUST STOP FOR FIVE MINUTES with the intensity. a lil' levity, please. I swear to god it won't kill you. I couldn't make it to the end. I know the end. an hour into it, I was so done, I wanted to burst. it was an exhausting film. but, very important. that's how I feel about it.

nicole's top 5 reasons to own a cat is so funny! you have got to read it.

I woke up an hour ago sneezing and I haven't fucking cock sucking stopped! I've taken 4 antihistamines and what am I doing? sneezing. worse. not 10 minutes ago, my neighbor poked her head out the window and said, "can you please stop. I can't sleep!" can I stop? um, let's see... I'll get right on that. can I stop? I'm having so much fun sneezing in 3 second intervals and blowing my nose every 1 second, that I am praying to jesus right now to see if he can make me sneeze like this AWWL THE FUCKING TIME. I was/am so pissed, I screamed, you miserable cunt, if I could control this fucking allergy attack don't you think I would? I would love nothing more than to rip my sinuses out and shove em' down your stupid, vile throat.

1. no matter how many lies you tell dogs, they always believe you. 2. dog farts outrank yours in depth and quality of stench 3. if you're a white girl and you own a beige or black dog, you're an integrated family 4. you can say, "hey, quit bein' a prick, you cocksucker," and they don't get mad 5. if you're a straight girl, I suggest you buy a boy dog, it's one relationship you can't fuck up

blake hardin on 8:05 PM im new ot this website and i dont know if you can leave just a general comment about a person and not just one post, so i just came here. anyway, wow. fucking wow. i am totally blown away, not only do you have the EXACT same name as my girlfriend, you seem to act exaclty like her too. this is weird. but wow, you are fucking amazing so, ya gonna ask ya girl to email me? there just aren't enough katie schwartz's in the world. is she a jewgirl too? spill, child, spill! and thank you for the kind remarks... she must suck a mean cock ;0

hey, what can I say... I can't help myself. 1. can he read pussy? 2. how do you expect him to give you directions? 3. does he have blind accessories or does he have to fondle his way there? coping by way of humor. can't knock it, can ya?!

re: spawn sean :: "I get up in the morning with him and he's, like, all ready to play and stuff," Federline told Access Hollywood."