KATIE RANTS


Good morning!

If you've been following my tweets, @katieschwartz, you know that my pal VeronicaWords, is working like a dawg to, well, save dawgs.

From VW: "Here’s the scoop from @VeronicaWords: vote 4 us! http://is.gd/3EQR Fill in Pike County Humane Society Milford PA & Search. then select us. Animal verification, that’s it!".

It's a great shelter and you can vote every day, so please do. They're in desperate need of the fundage. Off you go to vote for canine hope.

My dad joined Twitter, @jsbrooklyn. I'm plotzing. @TanyaEspanya, doll that she is, friended my pops. As far as dark humor is concerned, you'll quickly learn the apple does not in fact fall far from the tree, not at all. Friend him, ga'head. I think he knows how to follow back, if not my brother, @nicktony will show him, I'm sure.

I'm obsessing about the song, Caribbean Queen, for reasons I can't explain, and the mispronunciation of the word, "Caribbean". It is not pronounced "Caara-beee-aun", which is, in my opinion, enunciation murder. Worsening the issue, lest we forget it was a huge hit. How? Why? What happened? Where was I during this songbacle?

Have you seen infomercials for the Bullet Express? In the middle of the night, when I can't sleep, I am a food product infomercial whore. Anyway, the infomercial has the creepiest crew, force feeding insert-grandma-here, a food bulletized beverage. What's worse, is her insert-son-here, staring at her wantonly while she's drinking. Watch!





Another one is the Cricut Expression, a scrapbookey spin-off tchoch that's fun for the whole family. Admittedly, this one bugs the shit out of me.

What happened to Ron Poppeil, you know, the infomercial daddy who coined the phrase "But, wait, there's more"?

Here's one I love -- Really, it's the dame I love, never the products, always the sales peeps and their handy-dandy-ever-so-shocked-side-kicks, the Turbo Cooker.


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