I come here today my friends not to bury John McCain, but to praise him. To share a tender loving family values snibble of time that I hope transcends politics. You see my friends the presidential campaign trail is long and hard, like a penis, and at one point on that long, hard, soul sucking, maverick busting into party yes man presidential campaign trail, John's loving wife Cindy came up to him, ran her beerlicous fingers through his hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." A moment of tender humanity in the loveless inhuman world that is American presidential politics. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt" Is what John McCain said by way of reply. I'm not making that up. Three reporters witnessed it. God that's hot. I bet they had steaming sex that night. White-hot nuclear powered cuntaramic sex until that makeup ran down Cindy McCain's face like water through a hydroelectric dam. Which means it...
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Rachel Maddow is the only TV pundit with a regular show to hold a PhD (Oxford, Political Science). She is BOSS.
There are only two other TV pundits at all with similar credentials. Sadly, the play for the other sideL George Will (Princeton), William Kristol (Harvard).
I understand that America is the greatest country on Earth and has the longest continuous democracy^ and my country is one of the youngest non-colonial democracies (9 years), but how is it that we have elections on Sundays so this shit doesn't happen and have always had elections on Sundays, and the greatest country since the Big Bang with the most brilliant Caucasian life-forms ever to grace the universe can't figure out a simple solution like that?
* [The USA is hardly the country on Earth with the longest continuous self-governing system. It's a parlour trick: all older ones are either Constitutional or Common-Law monarchies. But that's a little too advanced a concept for a country who can't figure out to hold elections on Sundays to understand.]
Here's my card.
WINNER: Obama
POPULAR VOTE: Obama 55% McCain 43% Aggregate of off-party vote 2%
ELECTORAL VOTE: Obama 370 McCain 168
SENATE 58 Democrats 40 Republicans 1 Bernie Sanders 1 Funny-Looking Orthodox Jew with a squeaky-voice and a hideous acne-scarred face
HOUSE: 263 Democrats 172 Republicans
The USA is, however, the longest continuously self-governing country on Earth to still have the death penalty, to EVER incarcerate children with adults, to operate a concentration camp, to not have single-payer health insurance, and to have initiated 7 wars over the last 27 years. The only other one on the list was the UK with 1 (Falklands). Give yourselves a round of applause for a truly remarkable record. Those who appreciate such things are encourage to have some laughs today and tomorrow until around 0pm.
We were SO lucky to have her & Keith during this election season. Without them we might not have gotten so far ahead.
*sigh*
I am so glad tomorrow looks great for Obama. But I still have butterflies and will until Wednesday.
She is so right - it is a poll tax to have to stand in line like this. What is wrong with these parts of the country? I've never had to stand in line to vote here in New Jersey.