Monday, September 22, 2008

I Cunt and I Won't, A Yarn by FranICuntilyAm

While I have a big fucking potty mouth, using the word cunt does not come easily to me.

When it comes to that word, I think - I cunt, I won't! However now how can I not use it? My mind thinks I cunt, but my heart knows otherwise - yes it can. Yes it cunt. Se si puede, cuntilicious style.

I got to thinking about all the cunty candidate issues with this whole fucking cunt of an election. Obama and Biden are cunt free. That is sad because a cunt would be great on the Dem ticket. But no. And I mean a good cunt- like a cuntastic one. Bad cunts are everywhere in politics. Cuntileeza Rice comes to mind. Kay Bailey Cuntison is another Republican bad cunt. There is Michele Bachman. No cunt in her name but she is cuntiest of all cuntdom in many ways. This cunt go on.

Let me make my cuntpoint so we can all move on to whatever cunt-ventures await us. Personally, I was thinking of booking a trip to see the Valley of the Cunts. Where is that? Oh how about right between Coco's legs? That place is big enough for a spa, a hotel and a fucking cunt-casino. The views from the lips are cuntastic.

Anyway, I cunt-gress. Where was I?

So in the end this political season we do end up with a cunt and a bad one. The Republicunts have spoken and in '08 it goes down like this... McMunt and Cunt '08 on the Cuntatlk Express.


See you at the polls, cuntlettes, I love you all.

--
FranIAm is the author of Festinelente-FranIAm where she frequently and beautifully writes about religion and politics, her life and her faith.
--
To vote for FranIAm's essay, click "Comments" and cast your vote. You have one week to show your love. The clock begins -- wait for it -- Noooooooooooow.

40 comments:

KK said...

Since I live in the cuntry, I can honestly say that your POV is the cuntiest ev-ah! Keep rocking sister.

okjimm said...

//McMunt and Cunt '08//

Trouble is, on an intellectual level, it is hard to tell them apart.

Border Explorer said...

I cunt imagine a finer submission. FranICuntilyAm, you rock.

Liberality said...

Far be it from me to cuntraDICK you.

Liberality said...

no, no wait...I thought of an even better one :)

Far be it for me to COCKtraDICK you.


bwwhahahaha!!!!

Anonymous said...

You so totally rock. HARD.

TELP

Boxer rebel said...

Fran, you are cunt-tastic and ya know I mean that in the best way possible.

Missy said...

Franny Good-Cunt, you are such a cunning linguist I cunt think of a better cuntpinion.

FranIAm said...

Oh my - you guys are the best.

Frankly I was a little afraid to come look at all the comments!

All of which are good, but that Liberality did kind of outdo herself!

That said, BE and Missy saying cunt has its own rewards!!

Grandmère Mimi said...

Fran, I cunt say that I'm not ashamed to leave cuntment here, but cuntn't resist. You're the most talented Rockcuntte I know.

Tengrain said...

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve?

Regards,

Tengrain

John said...

Don't be afraid of reading responses to your work. Keep writing and growing your words.

JDC

Randal Graves said...

Such language.

DCup said...

These comments are killing me! Fran - cunt casino????!!!!!!

Please tell me what goes in the slot machine!

travelingman said...

DCup...what else would fit in the valley of the cunts but a munt? Fran...it was cunterific! Is it not liberating to take a vile word and make it your own! All I can say is that if the Cunt and McMunt win in November I am defecting...Canada here I come.

Mauigirl said...

I was very "cuntent" reading this essay and it amuses me how if you use a word enough it loses all shock value! Well done, Fran!

suzanne said...

Fran, Like you, I've never liked the word cunt, but as Mauigirl said I was cuntent to read it and read it and read it. I thought I'd have a cuntniption fit cause I was laughing so hard. The Republicunts OMG!!!! Perfect!!!
>>>>>Katie!<<<<< She Wins!!!

Katie Schwartz said...

Shalom KK, doesn't our Frannygirl kick ass! She does indeed.

Katie Schwartz said...

I am casting my vote for Franny!

Katie Schwartz said...

OKJim, does that mean that Diva Franny has your votesky? Spill, child.

Katie Schwartz said...

PS: I am God Damned laughing my ass off from all of these amazing comments. Literally screaming and clutching my sides.

How did I get so lucky to meet such hilarious bloggers?!?!?!?!

Katie Schwartz said...

You go Border diva! Nicely said.

Katie Schwartz said...

Liberality, I love both of those made up words. HAHAHAHA. To be able to create a dickunt word, please. You are my hero.

Katie Schwartz said...

Yay Telp!

PS: Got an estalk from you. Reading tonight. Will estalk yas tomorrow.

xo

Katie Schwartz said...

Frannygirl, look at the love fah'ya, doll. Awwww. I'm kvellarella.

Katie Schwartz said...

Okay, I think I just fell in love with Grandmere Mimi. Welcome. love the cuntariations, doll.

Katie Schwartz said...

Thank you for voting for Frannygirl, Boxerbaby.

Katie Schwartz said...

Randal Graves, coming from you this is a compliment.

Katie Schwartz said...

DivaD, love the slot machine comment. HA.

Aren't these comments a riot? I'm dyin' heaaaahh.

Katie Schwartz said...

travelingman rick, we are same paging, darlin'.

Katie Schwartz said...

Excellent point, Mauigirl, and fabulous cunteration.

Katie Schwartz said...

Suzanne, cuntniption?!?!? Loving you right now. Too funny.

karencuntdrive said...

As much as I wanted to win those cuntcakes, I gotta vote for FranIcunt.
She's lesbian catnip!

dguzman said...

Does the baby jeebus have a cunt?

Randal Graves said...

I swooned at reading this vulgarity.

dguzman, I can't believe you forgot that baby jeebus is a hermaphrodite!

Distributorcap said...

my virgin ears!!!!!!!!!!!

CDP said...

I am shocked and outraged.

Psych.

This is awesome, my vote is for Fran.

Spartacus said...

How 'bout we cunt all this cunt crap out and call 'em camel toes or moose knuckles? Fix yourself girl!

Spartacus said...

Sorry Katie...I almost forgot to vote. That moose knuckle Fran has mine.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

The Representative from Paitilla cast his vote in favor of FranIam

 

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