Wednesday, June 25, 2008

We Have A Lot of Offensive Ground to Cover, so Perk Up or Click Away, I'm Just Sayin'

Teens Make Pregnancy Pact to get pregnant (WAIT, the pod just peeled. Back in a minee). I'm back. Didjya miss me? Just kidding. I think I whacked the pod. I plugged it in and it's not syncing up. It's okay, don't panic, I have another music source. I'm covered.

Back to the topic at hand. Wait... Oh, right. Duh, Schwartzy. Six teenagers at Gloucester high school made a pregnancy pact. Consumed by determination, one broadette fucked a homeless chap. Can you imagine cruising homeless shelters for cock after school?! It's like a bad Families in Crisis daytime special.

These girls want to be single mothers. Each month, they'd take pregnancy tests and sob when they got a "-" sign instead of a "+" sign. Though the school is one that practices abstinence (God forbid we educate American children about safe sex), the school nurse does provide pregnancy tests. Imagine her surprise when the same lot of 15-year-old's cried tears of joy when they found out they were knocked up. Giddy, planning their baby showers for each other, assuming their parents would be over the moon and none to pleased to assist in raising their babies, a light bulb flickered in the nurse's head, finally.

It was on the Today Show. Time Magazine broke the story.

One of the teenagers, a graduate of Gloucester high school, got pregnant at 15, too, citing that she blamed celebrity single mothers because she looked up to them. Assuming the preggy sophomores felt the same way. This bothered me. The whole thing made me neesh, really. Though, her statement felt like Kosher salt on the wound. The argument that Hollywood is responsible for perpetuating violence, teen pregnancy, immoral lifestyles and a gazillion other things is the impetus for censorship and the republican platform good ol' fashioned family values (shove it all in the closet and under the rug). A parent's job is to raise their kids, not the media's. Where's the sense of responsibility? (I know, I know, I know, shut up, Schwartzy, Gaaaahd. It's my fucking blog.)

Last point, I promise... teenagers experiment sexually and it doesn't mean they lack morals, at least I don't think so. Public schools should educate children about sex and all of the responsibility that goes with it. The idea that passing out condoms is the equivalent of shoving a teenypeeny in another teeny's veewee is absurd. And, hello, abortion. It is a choice. Every teenager and woman should have the right to a safe and legal abortion. Period. Period. Period. (Well, that comes after the abortion). Anyhoodle-doodle-do, everyone knows I'm pro-choice/pro-life. Personally, I believe that an abortion is stopping a process, nothing more. Children should not be having children.

PS: (Okay, I do have one more point. Sue me), for some reason, I have always felt that if I were to have a child, I'd do it on my own anyway. Not that I wouldn't want a mans in my life. I just wouldn't let not having a partner stop me from having children if I wanted them. Ya feel me? Are we same paging? Fab.

When I read about the yarn today and watched it on MSNBC, it got me too twisted up inside. I feel sooooo bad for these girls. I wish their parents would've jumped in and given them some kind of education about sex and the realities of parenting.

Moving along...

The Outsiders: Teens Caught Between Freedom and Faith, Amish Adolescents 'Run Around' Before Committing to Church or Leaving Community.
Did anyone catch this yarn on ABC Primetime last night about the Amish? My father used to take us to see the Amish often, it was festive. I remember the smell of butter and those kitsch ensamblays, a bit too racy for my taste.
The story followed four Amish teenagers who fled to the outside world, it's called Ordnung. Essentially, in order to become ordained within the church, there is an unwritten rule that teens can experience life in the "English" world to make an informed decision. What killed me about this story was that if a teen decides to live in our world for good, they have to leave their family behind forever. What a horrific, gut wrenching decision to make. What fascinated me was that the kids who chose to remain outside share the same basic values they were raised with, they just wanted more freedom. Again with the extremists--oy.

One of the kids, he was so camp. During his Ordnung, his parents let him trick out his buggie with an iPod, woofers and sub-woofers, I think they're called. He was rockin' out to ACDC tooling around in his bad ass buggie. I liked the way his parents incorporated the outside world into the Amish world. Still. I can't imagine living such an extreme lifestyle or having to make the choice between family and freedom. I could see the torment and suffering in their eyes-- Oh, how they pined for their rents and sibs. Truly heartbreaking.

Moving along....

Fondling Senior Year, Undergraduate School

Fondling the Graduate Edition

Is there anything left to say?!


Fran said...

Oy gevalt - Those Hulkish pix, oy gevalt. My eyes, my eyes.

Interestingly enough I have a great Hulk Hogan story to tell one day, but not now as I am queasy.

What a post. I watch so little tv that I was unaware of the preggy bunch. (Here's the story, of a lovely teeny, who was longing for a baby of her own... and the story, of homeless peeny...) Sorry, excuse that!

Anyway, it is so sad. The story is illustrative of a society that bounces didactically from one point to another, never making its way to the wisdom at the heart of things.

People think integrity means honesty but is actually the opposite of disintergration.

We must become whole somehow and the constant doing or not, saying good and bad, black and white, right or wrong, but never exploring the middle ground of wholeness does not serve us or our society well.

Sex, like almost anything else is neutral. It is what you do with it that matters.

Whatever is done with a closed and hard heart is sad.

However, that is lost on the sin management crowd who preach abstinence, which most frequently means abstinence from a loving heart and a peaceful presence.

OK, I am shutting the fuck up now.

(i think i will go work on my brady bunch inspired preggy bunch song now...)

DivaJood said...

Public schools should educate children about sex and all of the responsibility that goes with it. Well, they don't have time to teach sex education, because they are too busy with that shonda of a program, "No Child Left Behind" - what a load of crap that is. I mean, there are no standardized written tests teens can take about sex - other than those pre-packaged, at home, preggers tests - but the No Child program isn't about "take home" testing.

As for the Hulk Hogan pics - geeze, has that man gone to seed. What a mess he is - but so loving to his daughter, making sure she's got sunscreen in all those private, hard to see areas.

Puke. Puke puke puke.

Anonymous said...

wow -- you've done the first "teen pregnancy/abortion rights-amish family rules-hulk hogan's borderline incest photo" blog post in the history of the universe, katie dear. mazel tov.

the "pregnancy pact" thing might be exaggerated, as i understand. but still. there's been teenagers pregnant since we were cave dwellers and since teenagers will continue to be horndogs forever, there's no way to stop teen pregnancy unless you have some kind of sex ed and birth control available to them, period. i never understood the "if you give them rubbers, they'll turn into shagging minx" argument. the people who make that argument are still virgins.

the amish story is heartbreaking. it kind of reminds me of reading about gays stuck in hasidic sects. no way to reconcile the two.

i don't know what's grosser, the hulkster fondling his daughter's ass or his gut.

Madam Z said...

As I read your post, I was planning on writing something about how much I agree with everything you said regarding the need for good sex ed, access to birth control and abortion when wanted and needed. But then I saw the horrifying Hulk and I was seized with a desire to shove a hot poker up his flabby ass! That poor little girl! And who the hell took the photos? GRRRRRRR!!!

Writeprocrastinator said...

I love how the Mayor says there's no pact and if there isn't, it's a hellva trend.

And what are you talking about? Of course it's Angelina Jolie's job to raise my child, honestly, I'm surprised that I have to explain this to you. Who else would you want teaching your kids how to bend bullets and drive Dodge Vipers at 100 MPH on city streets?

I was trying to avoid the Hulk pics, but here they are and they are even more creepier than I could've ever imagined. Brooke, don't drink anything, I repeat, anything, your so-called father gives you.

Joe said...

You know, when I looked at those Hulk Hogan and daughter pictures, my soul died a little.

Coaster Punchman said...

Teen pregnancy. Depressing. But of course it's Hollywood's fault, honey! Don't you know that by now? Just like the Democrats and their liberal pinko friends caused 9/11!

I LOVE watching shows and reading about the Amish - they're just one step away from Mormons for me in terms of my fascination. Except that I don't make as much fun of them on accounta they don't vote & shit and get in my face trying to incorporate their religion into my freedom. They want to live separate from us? FINE!

You should watch "Devil's Playground" - it's a documentary about a bunch of Amish teens out on their Rumspringa. (Ordnung is the word for the law by which they live as part of the Amish community.)

Can't wait to read your book!


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