Saturday, June 28, 2008

Mind Adrift


My mind wanders through inaneville when I take a 3-5 minute on-a-whim-shit, an unplanned evening, or late afternoon, shit, one that doesn’t need to be lured by freshly percolated coffee.

Often, parading curiously through my weird ass brain is the origin of words: Who decided to call fluffy white squares marshmallows? Molestation, why marry “mole” and “station”, two perfectly independent, doable words and turn them into a big fuckin’ nightmare. Who was the decision maker behind that gem? Nomenclature screams mutton chops. One of the meanings of nomenclature is dictionary, vocabulary or glossary. Loving words, I should have an affinity for this one. I just can’t get behind nomenclature; it sounds and feels like decrepit, beyond repair, vintage furniture. And we all know how much Katie loves vinty everything.

Last night’s on-a-whim-shit, my mind wandered, of course. What popped into my head wasn’t a word; it was a thought: I wonder what my psychiatrist looks like when he takes a dump. Does he push? Or let it roll? Does he read? If so, what’s his preference, doctorly mags or self-indulgent reads, like auto magazines, gossip rags, or self-helpy Deepak Chopra dish? Does his mind wander, too? Does he worry about hemorrhoids if he's on the can too long? Does he go through the medical process of shitting?

I was OCD'ng so hard about this for 2 minees that I forgot to make my on-a-whim shit. The shame...

8 comments:

Doreen Orion said...

Only you, Katie. Only you.
(And I mean that in the best way possible.)

Bubs said...

ahahahahaha....

I can't even catch my breath to begin to address these important questions. You kill me.

Al Sensu said...

Thre you go projecting again.

Writeprocrastinator said...

You see, that's why I read while I, um, do business. That way these thoughts can come to me while I stare vacantly at the screen, trying to come up with blog material.

DivaJood said...

The real question is this: Which is better - a great dump, or a really good pee?

FranIAm said...

Divajood- I go with the former and not the latter. Katie is onto something, isn't she?

Kateleh, you are brilliant. I am now going to be bathroomally challenged as I ponder these thoughts.

bookfraud said...

wow -- now i know where the george carlin's ghost went. directly into your brain. you're practically channeling the guy.

good work, my dear.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

These defacation updates are some pretty good shit.

 

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