Random Dish




  1. Best Spam Headline from BFF PaintPusher: Well Hung Christian Single Russian Girls. I feel like it's missing, insert-transsexual "here". Or insert-God-Fearing-Men "here". Thoughts?
  2. Our Bethy girl has a photo credit! On Hollis Gillespie's site
  3. From my brother Ben, Mobile Locate. Check it out, you can locate anyone via their cell phone. Creepy enough?!
  4. Alterna Title Sequal Tive post by Cormac Brown is so fucking funny. Run. Read. Now.
  5. I broke up with Mac. I'm so sorry, I just couldn't do it. Mac is far too straightforward. I like an operating system that requires over-thinking. Please don't hate me.
  6. I almost got sent to Russia accidentally when trying to fly back to LA. How does one make that mistake?!
  7. Three hours into my flight from east to the west, I had an allergy attack and couldn't stop sneezing. The broad to my right kept glaring at me-- snatch. I was so irritated, I finally said, "You glaring at me will NOT make me stop sneezing." She laughed. Cuntola. Gahhhd.
  8. While in the Hamptons, Mr. Loooongggiiisland schlepped my bag onto the Jitney and said, "Fuck, this is heavy. What the hell ya got in hea, ya kids?" I said, "Just the adopted ones."
  9. I will be in NYC after the 4th of July. I expect to meet all NYC bloggers (if yas are in town).
  10. More later. I have a ton of blog reading to catch up on.
  11. Why is my Internetsso slow today?
  12. XO
  13. Schwartzy
  14. PS: I fucking love this picture.


Comments

Eebie said…
You fell for the teaser on the Russian hung single god girls...

Sorry it didn't work between you and Mac, I'm just so proud you tried.

I'll be in town the weekend of the 4th, the big apple will welcome you home with open arms...xoxoxo
8:44 PM
Fran said…
I am in the farthest reaches of Smalbania NY but will get my touchas to NYC when you are there.

Also - the cell phone thing requires you to keep clicking on the map.

Doing so reveals that you, me and my parish priest (i kid you not schwartzy!) are all getting schtupped in the rear. ( you gave me your digits girl, so i had to look you up!)

He is not that feminine looking... oh maybe he is the schtuper and not the schtupee...
12:22 PM
Gail said…
Will you be in nyc in August? I'm there for another panel on the 7th. Would love to see you again!
1:44 PM
Dale said…
I'm going to use your glaring line the next time I get an attack of sneezing or maybe just have someone I don't like sit beside me.
4:31 PM
Writeprocrastinator said…
I got the cell phone tracker thing right away, as I didn't see any water or the Peninsula.
8:06 PM
Writeprocrastinator said…
"Just the adopted ones."

Good gravy...

; )
8:07 PM
Unknown said…
"From my brother Ben, Mobile Locate. Check it out, you can locate anyone via their cell phone. Creepy enough?!"

Ass.

That's all I'm gonna say.

"I almost got sent to Russia accidentally when trying to fly back to LA. How does one make that mistake?!"

Looking for well-hung Christian Russian girls by chance?

JDC
9:14 PM
Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said…
You wrote: While in the Hamptons, Mr. Loooongggiiisland schlepped my bag onto the Jitney and said, "Fuck, this is heavy. What the hell ya got in hea, ya kids?" I said, "Just the adopted ones."

You are fucking brilliant. It's no wonder we all adore you.
6:33 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Danny Bonaduce's Creepy Peen

Image
I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the thrusting jacked sack. Or, his dirty orange palms color coordinated to match his freakpubes leading to the creepiest weepeen I've ever seen. And, I'm not even a size queen. Help me. I can't stop staring at it. Happy Halloweeeneeeee
Read more

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more