Thursday, March 06, 2008

IM'ng with Coco's Vagina


Non-sequitur of the day: I love watching things come to a boil, not metaphorically, literally, specifically water and coffee.

This afternoon, I was logged onto Yahoo under my screen name, herecomescreepy and I got the strangest IM.

CojynaAtLarge: Hey, Katie, are you there?

HereComesCreepy: I am. Do I know you?

CojynaAtLarge: Not intimately... unless of course you're.... as cold as ice.

HereComesCreepy: Oh, like the Foreigner Song. You're as cold as ice, ya will learn to sacrifice... blah, blah, blah.

CojynaAtLarge: Um... No... Tha'mayns!

HereComesCreepy: Okay, point blank, who is this?!

CojynaAtLarge: Coco's vagina!

HereComesCreepy: SHUT UP.

CojynaAtLarge: Fer'reeeeeels.
HereComesCreepy: You're like FAMOUS and shit.

CojynaAtLarge: *blushing*

HereComesCreepy: You can blush?

CojynaAtLarge: Ya'd be surprized wat plastiks can do these days. I can blush in 3colers (pink, red and tangerine), tak, reed, rite, swallah my mans hole, chomp at the bit, sheet girl, I can do anythin'.

HereComesCreepy: You must so proud of your pussy.

CojynaAtLarge: Werd!

HereComesCreepy: Cojiiine, I don't mean to be a buzzkill or anything, I'm in the middle of a few things, so, uh, did you want to dish about something specific, or....?!

CojynaAtLarge: I'm bleedin'. it's ma free time--thot Id holla'atchya. You rite aboume all the times.

HereComesCreepy: You get time off to menstruate?

CojynaAtLarge: Yep. Gives us lips time 2 rebond. We nevr get Q2time togethah.

HereComesCreepy: Quality time?

CojynaAtLarge: Yep. Weer always apart. Coke keeps us separate so's weer stand alones.

HereComesCreepy: Well, that's just liperific. Not. Don't you miss being together? Admit it, being split to the degree that Coco divides you is wicked uncomfortable.

CojynaAtLarge: Wul... i gots to rollout. Weel chat again.

She signed off before we could finish dishing. I friend requested her. The next time she pops online, I'll IM her and get the 411 for yas. That Coco's vagina sure is interesting.


Anonymous said...

katie, can you arrange an introduction? i just want to meet coco's ladything. just for coffee, just to talk about books and such. her vagina seems so interesting -- it seems to have done some extensive traveling.

you're killing me, girl.

Anonymous said...

"...I love watching things come to a boil, not metaphorically, literally, specifically water and coffee...."

I'm not sure you are supposed to boil both together. Then again, I drink instant.

Writeprocrastinator said...


Anonymous said...

I have no doubt that you are more than able to have IM correspondence with other people's genitals, but you are confusing the external with the internal parts of Coco's genitalia.
More accurately, you were conversing with Coco's vulva, not her vagina.
Only sayin' is all.

Fran said...

Vulva, vagina - such, pardon the pun, such fucking hair splitting!

You were chatting up the labia that ate Los Angeles sistah, how fucking cool is that?

BTW, you scared me a bit before I scrolled and all I could see was my number one Jew homegirl (she was there before you, but you know I love you so much)the BVM. (that is Blessed Virgin Mary to you non-Catholic non-idol worshipper types.)

I mean BVM - Coco's vajayjay... I felt a little fear.

And then it was all hilar squared.

Speaking of which, I don't know how old you are, but you might find this post from my friend Delia's blog funny. I did deem it hilar squared.

Joe said...

Wow. I have never chatted with any celebrity vagina...not even a C-list one like Coco's...I envy you!


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