Sunday, August 19, 2007

menses and dead dogs

**Images: current views**

Mitigating circumstances have exacerbated the death of my son. Not to diminish the weight of his death or the impact it has had on my life. Regardless, I would be the mess I am today and in the Jewiest of mourning. Oh, how I pine. Big pineage.

That said. Dr. P said, Katie, you have to start to build anew. Anew? What an odd and antiquated choice of words for "
In a new and different way, form, or manner." Fuck him. Though, he's right. I just don't want to agree with him. I wish I could chose not to. I can't.

Channel your anger, your grief and your emptiness productively, my mother says. She's right, too. I write. I knit. I scream. I yell. I cry. I sweat. I walk. I stretch. Bupkas. Now, I am trying to blog. This week, I want to catch up on my favorite blogs and comment. (Bored yet? Disgusted with me yet? Me too.)

Today, I decided to menstruate. Yes,
Mountjoy, I am menstruating. My menses commenced late this morning. It felt like a forceful gush of agony rushing through my vaginal canal. Usually, menseena begins slowly and taunts my vulva before making a grand appearance. Not this cycle. No, this cycle is for tears I have yet to shed. Anger I've yet to speak or write and wombache from sorrow and loss. A gush of emotion pouring out of my cunt at 90 miles per hour. If I am to learn anything from this period, it should be that my heart and womb are one. They work in synchronicity. I can live with that.

I miss you all. I adore you all and I am grateful for you all. I'm still a BlueJew. Thank God for Joni Mitchell... etc. etc. etc.


Al Sensu said...

Still with you... blood and guts and all.

Bubs said...

Welcome back. I don't know what it is, but I think the women at the compound are synchronizing with you in empathy.

Writeprocrastinator said...

I think "mensuh" is "menses" in Korean, or least it is in a blog that I occasionally read.

Welcome back Ms. K.


Dino aka Katy said...

i have had those - the good thing is they don't last forever. hope you feel better soon

Tanya Espanya said...

I'm continuously crushing you with my love.

Mountjoy said...

Welcome back, my outrageous friend! Perhaps you can consider the arrival of the red wave as symbolic tears of blood for Louiejew?

Miss Smack said...

I agree with Mountjoy. He's a delightful man.

I would consider the cleansing of your most intimate part a symbolic cleansing of your soul, honey x


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