I come here today my friends not to bury John McCain, but to praise him. To share a tender loving family values snibble of time that I hope transcends politics. You see my friends the presidential campaign trail is long and hard, like a penis, and at one point on that long, hard, soul sucking, maverick busting into party yes man presidential campaign trail, John's loving wife Cindy came up to him, ran her beerlicous fingers through his hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." A moment of tender humanity in the loveless inhuman world that is American presidential politics. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt" Is what John McCain said by way of reply. I'm not making that up. Three reporters witnessed it. God that's hot. I bet they had steaming sex that night. White-hot nuclear powered cuntaramic sex until that makeup ran down Cindy McCain's face like water through a hydroelectric dam. Which means it...
menses commenced at 10:15 this morning. I'm expecting a full blown war zone betwixt my femine thighs and meaty jew lips. cramps, epic. the egg, pissed off about lack of fertilization and taking a no hostages approach to menstruation this month. little bitch. here's a newsflash, ovum, I call the shots, not you. you want to be pissed off at someone, you should've thought of that long before choosing me as your host in this lifetime. 
Comments
My thoughts are with you!
The juxtaposition of your text, with that Scot Tissue ad, is too much. Your blog is just like the text in that ad:
"Peculiarly adapted to the needs of women of intuitive daintiness."
Well at least now I know what Grandma is gonna dab her guppy with when she runs out of bog roll. AND it explains the stains on her sheets...
I have never had the pleasure of dating a member of the tribe, if I ever do, this is something I should expect? Does it impede intimacy or does it cushion it? Is this like "Bumper Bowling"? Does one have to hold them like the tongue of a shoe when you are inserting? If I were into stereotypes should this be applied to all Jewish ladies? Is one less Jewish if their lips are dainty?
My gosh, I've lead a sheltered life!
-Amber