Thursday, April 05, 2007

los angeles, FUCK YOU!

check this out. it's so disgusting, I am ready to spit twice and cry. tonight I went to pick up some scrips for jewboy. when I got to my car, it wouldn't start. I drive a vinty car. surprised? I love it. it has big sentimental value.



I was parked in a parking lot in west hollywood between la cienega and robertson. it's a fab gay naybahood, completely safe. there were several cars coming and going, so I took out my jumper cables and began the hock.


to sweet meat with grrroovy specs, my battery died, would you mind giving me a jump? I have cables. um. well, like this is a new car and I don't even know how to open the thing. (me, bewildered, but unfettered because there are so many cars, says) um, ok. thanks anyway.



I gave the same shpiel to a seemingly happy-go-lucky redheaded girl and she said, no. (me, wide-eyed surprise) no? oohhkay.



to a group of well groomed, toned queens pouring out of a brand new mercedes, I mixed it up a bit and went with a jewey approach. hi, sorry to bother you, oy vey do I have ahj. my battery just died. would you mind terribly giving me a jump. come on, be a mensch. they laughed. you find this amusing, do you? my car won't start and that's funny to you. or is it that I had the audacity to ask you to pop your shiny new hood and I don't mean dropping trow?! you're funny. one of the queens said as he and his mini power posse made their way to the fat-fuck-you-free yogurt shop.



the next fellah was smiling, exiting our vet's office with his jack russell in tow. would you mind giving me a jump? I have cables. he ignored me, and so did the next four fucking assholes.



I responded to all of thee fuckers by saying, it's not like I'm asking for underwear! did I ask you for money? no. but, I have my own cables! what is wrong with you?!



I had to call aaa to get a jump because nobody would take 5 fucking minutes to help a girl out. can you fuckin believe that?!

14 comments:

Bubs said...

The west coast is f*cked UP. There's no way, in the midwest, that a girl WITH HER OWN F*CKING JUMPER CABLES could NOT get a jump.

See? That's why that whole side of the country is going to slide into the ocean at the earliest opportunity. It's the lack of common courtesy

Heather said...

Here in Iowa, I had almost the opposite problem. I had cables AND a portable charger to jump from. I hooked everything up myself, jumped the car and went about my merry way - only after turning away FIVE helpful men insistent on saving my helpless female butt from sure death because I couldn't possibly know how to work anything but the gas pedal. Some of them just came right up and took over without even saying anything. But even that's better than being ignored by assholes. Sheesh.

DCup said...

That is so incredibly sad. What is wrong with people? I hate to pile on the Cali, but there's no way a gal down in Dixie would even be expected to have jumper cables, much less use them.

Cavalor Epthith said...

Get the Hell out of that shithole! Tribeca is nice this time of year . . .

Amy Guth said...

(GASP) The shame! The shame! I wouldda run out, rain or shine, crossed town or whatevah, to help you out.

People are such dicks sometimes.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"I hate to pile on the Cali"

D-Cup,

First, that's Southern California. I help everyone out, outside of the "empty gas can scam." I have push started and pushed out of harm's way, scores of cars. Our West Coast version of the South lacks empathy, unless it will somehow get them on TV.

Katie,

Oh, to be there when karma comes back around on them. Where will it be? Where will it be?

A busted radiator halfway between there and Palm Springs? With the thermom' about to hit 110 and no cell phone reception?

A 2AM breakdown in Compton, right in front of a gang who needs some victims for a beatdown for five new initiations?

Next time you see a Katie or anyone in genuine need, give them a moment of your time and fate will make sure that someone else will be there for you, when you are in need.

Lydia said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! That is terrible. I know its easy to chalk it up to being Cali, but I thought people everywhere had more human decency than that.

Eebie said...

Come back to NYC babe, I'll give you a jump...I may tie you up with those cables. ;)

Creepy said...

Something tells me stories like that don't just take place in Los Angeles.

DrugMonkey said...

It's not just a southern CA thing. I live in No. Cali and would never count on someone helping me out in a jam.

I would have jumped you though.

I would have given you my underwear even.

I would have even helped you start your car.

Then again I wasn't born here....

Tanya Espanya said...

Why are you in LA? Are you just visiting there? And why didn't you come visit us here instead?! Never mind the jumper cables, I would have schlepped you all over the place! Jeez...

Tanya Espanya said...

Ack! I didn't realize you LIVE in LA! I was just in San Diego! We could have met up for a coffee halfway, San Clemente? Laguna Beach? Anyway, we'll plan better for next time! Sorry for all the exclamation marks! I can't stop myself!

:)

Romius T. said...

I would turn you down too, but only because I would be ashamed that I did not know how to operate the cables properly.

Al Sensu said...

Oh, but you forgot to pull a gun on them as you asked. Like in LA Story, "I'll be your mugger tonight."

 

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