if I could eat anything...

I'd inhale an extra large cheese pizza with a macaroni and cheese back. followed by spinach dip with fresh-hot-sourdough-fuck-me-harder bread. for desert, I'd gorge myself on three strawberry ice cream bars covered in milk chocolate.


but, I won't be eating that now will I?! no, I won't. I'm bigger than the craving (literally and figuratively). if I want to keep looking like fattiestum and her twin sister esmerelda jean, I can eat until springer hoists a crane through my roof and forklifts me out.

fuck. fuck. mother fuck.

Comments

Joe Fresser said…
There's a pizza joint in Maine called Lisa's that specializes in pizza with fries on the side.Sounded like a bad idea when first encountered, but it's fucking great. Oh, and then you get fried dough with powdered sugar and melted butter on top for dessert.

I know, I'm not helping. Sorry.
8:25 PM
Anonymous said…
Want some M&M's? If I shove any more into my mouth tonight, I'm gonna be sick.

This is what I get for skipping dinner. Don't eat at 7pm, eat at 11:30pm. Yes - that's a winner of a diet plan.
8:25 PM
Al Sensu said…
Don't listen to her. You need vegetables. Carrots, celery, stuff that's filling and o so healthful.
8:28 PM
Anonymous said…
Joe: Too weird! Out here in the sticks - literally of Georgia, there's a joint called Pastabilities. Our favorite order is a large cheese pizza with a side order of squishy, crinkle fries with fried dough for dessert. The fried dough comes with your choice of powdered sugar or cinnamon sugar. We get cinnamon sugar.

Delicious. Oops. Sorry, Katie. I'm a real fucking food pusher tonight. The Jewish mother thing?
8:30 PM
Al Sensu said…
We need some self-denying gentiles to join in and scold us, otherwise Katie will ballon up just reading this shit. Where's Leewee when you need her?
8:32 PM
Creepy said…
Having gone on the sugar wagon last May, I'd personally like 3 pints of Haagen Dazs ice cream (vanilla swiss almond, pistachio, and coconut pineapple) and a spoon. And to be left the fuck alone for an hour.
7:56 AM
Anonymous said…
creepy: I could love you. And your ice cream.
8:02 AM
Tanya Espanya said…
I like coffee ice cream.

And now that my fetus is getting bigger, my stomach is under my boobs and I can only eat small bits at a time...No matter, I continue to eat 3 cups of whole wheat macaroni, washed down by half a container of chocolate milk, and then get heartburn like you can't imagine...

Katie, come over, I'll make you lunch.

(word verification: q jew gb)
8:29 AM
Anonymous said…
Katie, I doubt it helps, especially since by now it's the next day, but reading your post inspired me to derail my idle thoughts of whether Nutella would taste okay on tortilla chips and thus would serve as a lunch. Instead I sauteed some veggies and had them with rice. Not much fun, damn you!

(btw, I e-stalked you all the way from over at LD's place)
11:43 AM
Eebie said…
You haven't given up on booze have you?
5:40 PM
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