Wednesday, February 28, 2007

god, let's discuss

I shoulda been a lesbian. I would've been a fabulous harley-riding-femish-type-lesbian. I have a family who would've dragged me out of the closet knowing I was born to dine at the Y long before I would've known. my friends would've loved me just the same. I would've been one seriously lucky dyke.



I love women. I think we're amazing. I am in love with all of my girlfriends and tell them constantly. I experience more girl crushes in a week than most men have in a lifetime. I can hock with a beav for hours about nothing and everything. politics and pussy. literature and life. intellectual and emotional dish sessions (not creepy emotional, a la: white linen wearing freaks, sitting on the beach while the ocean water teases our intertwined legs). but, the real stuff. the grit.



it's not that I don't share the same depth or intensity with my boyfriends, male friends or my gay male friends. I do. but, women have a history that bonds us. deeply. women who love women know exaclty what I'm talking about.



the ahj? I don't want to fuck women. isn't that just so depressing!? to me it is. women come onto me, brazenly. beautiful, smart women. I can't find the desire to dine. I've tried! I even made out with a bird once. if men were half as assertive as the dames I've met, they'd hear me screaming, where do you want my ankles in antarctica so loudly, their igloos would shatter.



I couldn't have been ambisextrous?! would it have KILLED the big-g to throw me a bone, something I could work with? a woman who loves women as much as I do really should be a lesbian.



what is the world coming to?

14 comments:

Writeprocrastinator said...

You need to get yourself a little something-something outside of L.A. and you won't even ask these questions anymore.

Amy Guth said...

We can just start telling people we that we're Platonic Life Partners. That should confuse the shit out of everyone nicely.

Doc said...

Stone femme? Pillow princess? It's not always about reciprocation.

Honey, I've met a million lesbians who could have written this post. Marry me.

Mountjoy said...

Katie, my soul sister! I too, should have been a lesbian: I sit around half the day, daydreaming about whistling in the wheatfields...

Dale said...

Maybe you need to try out different branches of the Y to be sure.

"jew" "girl" said...

how did I get so lucky to have such smart, funny, savvy and sophisticated visitors? seriously, I am the luckiest fuckin' dame in the god damned world.

thank you!

"jew" "girl" said...

amy, you are so fabulous. love it, platonic life partners. hahahhahhahahaha

"jew" "girl" said...

omg, daleish, howling...

"jew" "girl" said...

where's the ring, my gorgeous doc?!?!?!?! I WANT A RING!

"jew" "girl" said...

oh, mount joy. oh god. hahahahahahaha.

Al Sensu said...

Sally was a Lesbian. And Mel was gay.

Evil Spock said...

Is that why you haven't visited Evil Spock at The Few for awhile? Because you're struggling with your sexual identity?

Eebie said...

I get you totally. My inner child is a woman and a lesbian, which is why I show no signs of being a gay man. I'm so hot for all that. I have had a crush on Ellen DeGenerous for 20 yrs since she was doing stand up. The sexiest voice in Rock n Roll is Melissa Ethridge. It's all good, girl.

Coaster Punchman said...

Despite the wisdom of everything you write, I will never get the phrase "dine at the Y" out of my head. And that's a good thing - hope you don't mind if I use it.

 

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