Tuesday, August 29, 2006

rent increase


mother fucker.

I got a notice in the mail from my slumlord today that he's raising my rent $100. a month. he also wants another $100 in security for his shitty whore in the wall dirt jungle.

I can't help but wonder if it's a ploy to get me to move because I pay my rent a few days late.

first of all... in my defense. and? this is a problem because?

I so don't want to move. + I am not signing another one-year lease and committing to residency in the city of contagious silicon for another mother fucking cock sucking year. I would rather give my ass an address and start charging rent to all the life sucking schmucks crawling all up inside it.

4 comments:

n.v. said...

That's quite a rent hike, Katie. Is that legal in Califucknia? I'm sorry, lady.
You could always move to Ontario. The rent is comparatively low and we still have some trees and grass left.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"I got a notice in the mail from my slumlord today that he's raising my rent $100. a month."

Okay, if you said just that, I would say that is within reason. But...

"he also wants another $100 in security for his shitty whore in the wall dirt jungle."

I've never heard of increase in the security deposit, unless the renter has a destructive pet or a water bed. Now, we know Louie saves people from destruction and doesn't cause it, so can I assume that:

A) You're right, he wants you out of the apartment.
B) He sucks at online poker and he hopes that you, along with the other tenants, will make up the difference in his loses, before his wife finds out.
C) Someone has to pay for his hairplugs. He flipped a coin and you're it.
D) Someone has to pay for the increase in his co-pay for Viagra. He flipped a coin and you're it.

Mars said...

My lease is up in October. Let me know if you're still thinking of renting out that space you mentioned.

n.v. said...

Katie, if your ass had an address, you'd have many enraptured squatters.

 

design by suckmylolly.com