Wednesday, November 01, 2006

you homo, back in the closet!

I'm not a soapboxy dame. well, I hope not. I mean, yeah, I'm opinionated, but good opinionated. oh, how I love denial. it's a beautiful emoticon ;0.

ever since bush was re-elected into office, it's not easy to be friends with even a moderate republican because it is unfathomable to me how anyone in their right mind could actually vote for bush a SECOND TIME. the first time, I'm not happy about. but, after all was said and done. how could you do it again?

I chopped a new friend out of my life 4 months ago. it all happened in a very matter-of-factly kind of way, I mentioned that one of my best friends was marrying his lover and that he asked me to write something and speak at their wedding. I was so excited about it, that of course I mentioned it.


dumb ass says, "and you agreed? they can do whatever they want. I don't have a problem with them as long as they don't shove it down my throat."

I don't have to reiterate the venomous dialogue that ensued because you already know it. he spewed hateful, vile, uneducated rhetoric. and I went cunt raving, ball chopping mad. as did he. what a waste of energy.


out of the blue, he sends me an email yesterday:

hello stranger. how have you been?

-- When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. ~ Jimi Hendrix

oooh. irony. dumb ass.

I responded today and I know this is a soapboxy, lame ass response, BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. but I am sharing it with you because you have to read his final response.

I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm the jew-broad, gay rights advocate. the one who believes in equality for all americans under the constitution. the one who regards homosexuality to be as beautiful as heterosexuality. ringing a bell for you? because that person hasn't changed, so unless you have, I'm almost certain this email is meant for someone else.

he emails this back to me and I think it's so funny.

With that kind of respose ~ I absolutely meant that email for someone else.

Don't consider yourself such a patriot. You might be blinder than you think.

Don't feel the need to write back, I'm losing your email address the second I hit send.

this is saving face?!


Jeff Harrell said...

I respect your convictions, but it makes me kind of sad when people who disagree with each other can't be friends. Some of the best friends I have are people with whom I disagree vehemently. I'm not pulling some "shame on you" thing here. I'm just saying that it makes me feel sad when things like this happen.

katie schwartz said...

jeff, I agree with you. I have wild disagreements with my bestest friends and I love them to bits. I don't seek friendships with people who only share my point of view. I have so many different types of friends. The one commonality I can say that we all share is the desire to fight for and preserve equality, decency and humanity.

when someone chooses to hate a group of people and deny them basic human civil rights, the same rights that they enjoy themselves, well that's just intolerable in my opinion.

I guess for me, I also fail to see how I can grow or gain insight from someone who proudly exercises such an egregious violation of equal rights.

if I did that, it would make me a hypocrite and I couldn't live with that.

Jeff Harrell said...

You know the guy. I don't. So only you can decide whether "hate" is the right word to use here. I'll have to take your word for it.

But for my part, I guess I just tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't believe that disapproving homosexuality is necessarily, automatically tantamount to hate, any more than disliking country music means one hates people from North Carolina. The two things aren't congruent.

But what the heck do I know. We're just talking here.

mushroom said...

Some things you just cant agree to disgaree with people on....fuck him i reckon you did the right thing...i'm a homo lover too.

Eric Riback said...

Jeff, I shouldn't try to speak for Katie but I think she and I are on the same wavelength here.

This "disapproval" her former friend expressed was a form of prejudice similar to "disapproving" of African-Americans or Mexicans. It comes down to whether you think homosexuality is a choice or not. I believe "they" are they as much as I am I -- ain't a choice I made to lust after Katie and her ilk.

And as to "shoving it down his throat" (how wonderfully graphic a thought that is), I think the former friend means, he's OK with fags if they keep it in the closet. Just don't come to work and talk about your life like the straight people get to do, or hold hands in public or anything like that. Do I want to see men kissing in public? Not particularly, but for that matter I'm just not into PDA's unless they keep my schedule and address book.

I once worked for a company of 200 in a town that had an equal rights (meaning to jobs and housing) referendum to be voted on. Someone expressed the opinion that it was OK to be gay, just that they shouldn't "flaunt" their sexuality. I pointed out to folks that no-one at the company was openly gay, yet by percentages there had to be 10-20 folks who were and didn't feel comfortable talking about their weekend during lunchroom time on Monday. Yet the rest of us talked about what we did with our wives/ husbands/ boyfriends/ girlfriends. So we heteros "flaunt" our sexuality all the time. That opened some eyes.

So Katie jettisoning this friendship is no different than if you found a friend disparaging Jews, blacks, dwarves or whatever. It;s not a political issue; if someone has reached adulthood and is a bigot, I can't be with that person.

John Donald Carlucci said...

Well, I do believe that being a dwarf is a choice and I don't like having it flaunted in my face. Dwarf Eye for the Tall Guy and shit. The clothes never fit - ever.


katie schwartz said...


bubbie, do I strike you as the kind of broad that isn't able to differentiate between hate and discomfort?

I know you don't know me from adam, but if you've hit my blog and read an entry or two, I'd like to think that I don't come across as a raving judgmental cunteen.

If someone doesn't approve of homosexuality, they are entitled to that opinion. that is their right. I'm not taking it away from them. but, to want to rape someone of their constitutional rights, the same rights that they enjoy every single day, simply because they are a homosexual is unacceptable and should not be tolerated by anyone. By advocating this, do you have any idea what the repercussions could be? Who’s next on the chopping block? Interracial couples. Biracial children. Jews. Asians. You (generically speaking) don’t think that it’s possible, but it is.

Outside of that, on a very personal level, someone who can say the kind of lascivious and hateful things he said about gay people is about one gay pride parade away from taking out his baseball bat and beating the shit out of some innocent man or woman who is just trying to live their life as purely and honestly as you or I are. why would anyone with any sense of decency want to sit back and listen to that? what do they gain from it? how does it make them a better person?

I have so many gay men and women in my life… Transgender divas too. how could I possibly break bread with them knowing that I had someone in my life who hated every ounce of their being. who wanted to harm them and who believed through and through that they were sub-humans? How could I do that and look myself in the mirror every day and call myself a decent human being? I just couldn’t. the guilt would consume me. and, my grandmother (who dragged my godfather out of the closet when he was 16) would haunt me by hocking me to death!

Final spin and then I’m done, I promise… life is short. It really is. so much shorter than we realize. you get, what, 60-80 good years’ tops. That’s it and then you’re done being you. it’s over. You’re cremated or your six feet under. For me, every year has to count. every intimate relationship (platonic and romantic) has to fulfill me in some way because time is the most important thing I’ve got. I take the concept of time very seriously. I appreciate those who give it and those who want it. I don’t want to waste time on someone who makes time to hate. it’s illogical – I don’t know how to get my head around it.

So now that I’ve bored you into total oblivion, go with god ;).

we cool? you feel me?

katie schwartz said...

erik, you're amazing. very insightful response. ga head. speak fah me any time, bubbalah.

Anonymous said...

it takes all types to make the world go round, ya know? got learn to tolerate, not necessarily appreciate... I am extremely closed minded on some issues and then way over the top open minded on others- got to breathe the same air as the rest so learn to walk a jagged line, leaning to one side or the other as need be. can be cozy with Clinton and holding hands with Mandela and Rush Limbaugh at the same time- gotta find the common threads.....

Dale said...

Erik and John Donald C. have the right ideas. You Katie are the one with the creamy Jewy centre I love ;-)

katie schwartz said...

oooh... creamy center! yummy, potd.

katie schwartz said...

shroomage, I see your point.


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