Wednesday, August 16, 2006

jewfu


new word: jewfu... jewish funeral. sounds good, right?

my day sucked big unmanageable fat ass today. between my big fat cravings for french fries, peach pie, pizza and strawberry shortcake, and my wannabe thin brain force feeding fehatty cabbage salad with slivered, toasted almonds tossed in a light champagne vinaigrette it was a fatotamous (dichotomous) fuckin day.

I drove through the mcdonalds drive through twice today just to smell the fat. It was creepy. Especially when the toothless wonder asked me what I was having and I said, “a sniff.” she got all bitchy with me. whatever, ho bag. like you really give a shit about the company.

I went into a new thrift store today. cute chachkaramas and furney circa 1960s. one stupid glimpse at a lampshade and the owner was all aglow, like I was going to offer up my fat beige ass for a matching pair of floor to ceilings.

2 comments:

Nicole said...

omg. i so feel you on the mickey d's. those french fries are to die for.

non vocabulum said...

Katie, I instantly felt hungry at the fat-sniffing line. I'm gonna go eat my sad salad now.

 

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