Katie Schwartz

1. tim gunn is the iconic classic queen 2. tim gunn doesn't realize he's the iconic classic queen

according to the urban dictionary vagina fangs is basically the equivalent of needy chick syndrome. I HATE people.

my day SUCKED big fat vile heinous needy ASS. everyone wanted residency in my cavity and it really fucking COCK SUCKING pissed me off. do I have, bend me over and fuck me with a lube free cactus written on my forehead? do I? cause I swear to god, I feel like I've been bottoming for every tom, dick and prick in the free world. the nerve. the fucking gall of people?! and dismissive! nobody puts feahtty in the corner!! we won't name names, but there is a dismissive asshole. I mean, ASSHOLIC asshole. like, unbelievable asshole in my life. like, are you fucking kidding me, you assholic, floss-free, food particle collecting FREAK. sometimes I wish I had a snappin' pussy! a gobbling, assholic eating snappin' pussy machine. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! fuck this day!

" Nothing like a two inch band-aid on a foot long gash " how fucking hilar squared is wp

I am still bleeding. a lot. like there's a free gift in it for my egg if she OUT-bleeds every other menstruating twat this month. so, on tuesday, I plugged something into one of the outlets in my kitchen and flames jutted out. yeah. I know. my slumlord sent an electrican over after I begged. he looked at it and said. "oh, yeah. there is a short. see the burned wire." ya know what he did to fix it? he didn't replace the wire of course. he put electrical tape around the socket! if I wanted a white trash adventure in, test your life with a socket" I would've called kfed to fix it.

well, I'll be dipped in fat free, salty man juice. ain't this a vulva lip twitching comment. by george, anonymous can write. I damn near flooded the building. my neighbors had the red cross on speed dial. I think they were just hoping for free debit cards. keep the dream alive, my friends. this might be the same george. the george I knew was chuvvy. funny. big guy. balding at whatever age I knew him. 19, 20-1? he doesn't sound hot. he wasn't, but my god did he have charisma. he made me laugh. a lot. he was smart. he moved to lake tahoe and got thin. came back and tried to fuck me with a baggie. I'm smarter than that even when my olivia isn't. I think he was hungarian. and a heeblette, no? not that it mattered. his father was some fancy shmancy something. I don't remember. I wasn't a trust fund kid. I was a fat kid. did I ever blow you? just kidding. did I? how old are you? are we the same age? love the shiksa goddess yarn. stairway to heaven! was she you...

and so generous. each day, jc takes time out of his busy schedule to keep me in the christian loop, delivering all sorts of e-goodies to my inbox: christian mortgage products. christian debt counseling . christian singles sites . christian recipe's . so far my favorite sites have been the christian joke sites with an emphasis on clean humor. clean, meaning, they don't use bad words like, liberal, democrat, fiscal responsibility or budget. I didn't think it was possible for jc to outdo himself, but who better than the master of tricks himself. one of his trusted lackeys sent me an email today letting me know that by simply emailing her back, I will receive a 9 mm dollar inheritance to continue doing his work. the most amazing thing about her email was learning that jesus himself feels that I do good work. I knew jesus emailed me, of course, but I had no idea he made time to read my blog! especially now with yet another mid-east crisis. I assumed his vacation plans were squ...