Get Listen Up


Have you seen the infomercial for Get Listen Up? I thought the idea of a product that turns "Ordinary hearing into Extroidinary hearing" was too camp for words. In the mersh, a hospitable narrator takes you through all kinds of folks using it in church, hunting, watching television, listening to your spawn on the playground, all doable, right? Right. I was sold, too. Until.... my friendly narrator lady said "Listen to what your neighbors are saying about you." Okay, creeparella, how very big brother. Watch the mersh.

Doreen sent me a kick ass, smart ass article this week in the NY Times called, "Skin Deep - Hey, Mom, the Rabbi Approved my Tattoo". Speaking of Diva Doreen, I finished her flawless, brilliant book Queen of the Road (it's tits to the tenth, children) and she's graciously allowed me to interview her. I'll be posting that this week and you will love every word.

Frannylish sent me, in her words an "oy gevalt" article on Jewlicious, "No Wigs in Monsey", a very interesting, quick read about the separation of church and state.

I had the strangest dream last night, it was not a nightmare. Progress. My sister and I were sitting at an all-you-can-eat cheese buffet. Through pursed lips, she kept repeating "I'm moving to Mizuuur" Not Missouri, Mizuur, "Into a four bedroom house with my man. Support my decision." I woke up at 6 AM convinced this happened, so I called her and said, "Why the fuck are you moving to Mizuuur?" Half asleep and disoriented she said, "Are you sleep talking, freakshow?!" We went for coffee and had such a laugh about it... Mizuur.

Who reads or writes Ya Novels? Via my friend Lewch (he's in our blog circle, donchya know), I became friends with Katherine (love her) and she introduced me to Joanne Renaud, an exquisite Ya Novel artist. Her work took my wig off! She's so fucking talented. I'm posting dish about Miss Renaud this week, too. In the meantime, check out her portfolio, you will plotz hard.

The shame... For some queer ass reason the song "Strange Way" by Firefall just made its way onto the pod. The lyrics are sooooo shameful. Okay, Schwartzy, you have a choice, you can whack the pod, delete the song or find out who did it. I think I know who did it. Now, I'm howling.... Kerri!

Comments

Tanya Espanya said…
I lived in Mizuuur...I liked to joke and say Misery...(it was fine, though).
4:12 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
You did? I didn't know that. When and for how long? Love Misery. Too funny, Teenygirl.
5:54 PM
Tanya Espanya said…
Yah, it went like this:

My husband got job transfer to Miami. We moved there, bought a condo.

After 3 months, they sold his division and said if he still wanted a job he could have it in St. Louis.

We lived there for 2 years and then they offered him another transfer back to Miami.

Lived there for another 2 years, then decided to take some time off. We ran away to Spain for almost 2 years and then moved back to Canaduh.

We've been here now for almost 5 years (this being where I grew up).

miss you!
6:13 PM
Doreen Orion said…
Oy, Katie! Some of the members (I mean the entire guys, not just their... uh, parts) of Firefall live in Boulder and we went to a concert of theirs downtown, on the plaza in front of the courthouse. We loved it. Are we hopeless, or what?
8:09 PM
suburbanbeatnik said…
Thanks for the shout-out, Katie! So I took your wig off, eh? I'm honored! :)
11:33 PM
Fran said…
That Tanya Espana, wow.

I will be meeting her soon too!
11:30 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it.
Read more

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav
Read more