Katie Schwartz

fuck. fuck. mother fuck. I haaaaaaaaate waiting. I swear to god could he be any fucking slower in calling me and giving me my results. fuck. fuck. fuck. you could spit twice and die, you know!

so, I'm waiting for my endocrinologist to call me and tell me what my blood test results are, and I've totally convinced myself that I have diabetes, diabetic blindness, thyroid cancer, a rare thyroid condition that's genetic (dating back hundreds of years)... and that I'm dying, peeling out, one foot on the peel. A goner. omg. I hate waiting. I've called three times. three times. do you have ANY IDEA HOW STRESSFUL waiting for test results is?!?!?!? if I'm dying. it's been fun. be happy. suck cock. fuck. eat pussy. laugh. bye bye

It's pouring rain outside. I take louie to the park. a park ranger comes over and says to me, "your dog needs to be on a leash." I said, "I'm the only schmuck out here. what do you care?!" he says, "if you don't put him on a leash, I'm going to fine you $250.!" the nerve of him! the fuckin' gall. the god damned audacity. I told him to take his fine and to shove it up his ass because nobody would believe that a moron would be in the park playing catch with their dog in this weather. he drove away. I was victorious.