I'm such an open book. I think I've spilled everything. so, if any of this sounds familiar, just skip over it. or email me and call me a repetitive bitch.
::five things you don't know about me::
1. I'm barely 5'4. I haaaaaaaate being short. I am the shortest person in my family. I always wanted to be amazon goddess tall. 5'9 or 6'. height is sexy. I'd be thin! I could date short men and look cool.
3. I have an inappropriate obsession with floss. I will not kiss a non-flosser. I will not kiss a flesh-hound unless he's brushed and flossed. it's a freakish trait. however... I have converted many non-flossers. if you don't want to lose your teeth, floss. if you want to make out with me, floss. if you want to fuck me, floss. if you want any sexual play whatsoever, floss. I'm a flossing zealot. but, I can suck a bagel through an asian man's cock. so, isn’t it worth it? plus, you get to keep your teeth!
4. at present, I am enjoying a full and robust bush, and I emphatically refuse to wax at this juncture.
5. I am a forearm whore. the first thing I notice on a man is his forearms. relationships have burgeoned on this criterion alone. ok. so, they weren't intellectually gratifying, but who doesn't want to be twirled by a manly set of forearms for 5 minutes or more?! however, I will admit that when I'm looking for relationship dick, all I care about are brains-wit-and-charisma. I don't care what a man looks like. if he makes me laugh. if he challenges me intellectually and introduces me to new ideas, etc. and he has charisma. I can't scream, where do you want my ankles fast enough?!
::I am tagging::
wp, online bff 4ever
sweet honey smack
al sensu fingerboy
mullet boy
ribbed for your pleasure
vocab
midgetboy
guthgirl
mars
skirmish of wit
passion of the dale
romius
freak-and-a-whore
sparktacular
lewch
26 comments:
1. I really like midgets.
2. I especially like midgets with severe obsessive/compulsive disorders.
3. I prefer my obsessive/compulsive midgets to be unshaven.
4. I have forearms that would make Popeye green with envy.
5. I have killed every cunt that ever tagged me on a blog and I keep their fucking heads in a freezer in my basement...
finger fuck. #5??? are you going for creepy of the year?! why didn't you post on your blog? oh, you wanted to mock shorty? nice, bubbie, very-fuckin-nice!
Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me.
I have completely misunderstood this whole tagging bullshit.
I never realised you had to put the shit on your own blog.
Then again, what would be the point ?? No one ever reads my stinking blog...
finger fuck, everyone reads your blog. I'm on your blog right now. your blog rocks. it's hilar squared.
OK, I'm game, but I can't do until the weekend because I need to actually think about this one. As to yours...
1. If you have a flat head, you're the perfect girl because I can rest my beer on it while you blow me.
2. Best wishes, seriously.
3. I not only floss, but I stimulate my gums with a toothpick every night. My parents put their endodontists kids through college and could take out their teeth to prove it. Not for me.
4. You already know how I feel about bush.
5. My forearms are not impressive looking, but functionally, they'll put your ankles whever the fuck I want them to be.
sensu, bottle or can? I need to know if I should bring a trailer nosh.
can't wait for your answers!!!
BTW...just wondering...
By 'at this juncture' are you referring to 'this point in time' or the 'place at which your thighs meet'...
hot damn woman you make me laugh. If you were a bloke, I'd floss night and day for you.
x
Will fulfil your request on my blog, as usual xx
Shit, I ducked this meme once already! Curse you, best online friend forever!
You are probably unaware of my now six month old ban on memes. For you, maybe, since I want to have sex with you.
just so you know, finger fuck, I've never had the kind of full bush I've dreamed of having. I was breed to overproduce hair. one would think my v-spot would grow to jungle proportions. but, sadly that isn't so.
thank you, sweet honey smack! I can't WAIT TO READ IT!!!!
wp... duck schmuck. meem, please.
kidding. if you don't want to do it, I don't want you to feel pressured. you know the guilt will kill me.
mullet boy. fuck the ban. you have to do this. I'm hoping beth makes an appearance :)
Congratulations on your no wax rule. But if you want to look taller, you're gonna have to shape it like a landing strip!
"wp... duck schmuck. meem, please."
Look at that, "duck, ya schmuck!" Who's a true New Yawker? All done with meme, ya see?
I prefer bottles, but they're harder to balance, so I think a can, maybe Fosters since they're wider.
OK, I did it, but I put it on Hard & Fast. Damn you for drawing me out.
An ex of mine had the same problem, K.
She wanted a National Park in her pants instead of the cricket pitch she was given.
I told her maybe mulching would help and suggested she put a bag of earthworms in her undies and keep them there for a month.
She said, 'But what about the smell ??'
I said, 'Don't worry. If the worms die they're only $15 a kilo to replace...'
If you were tall you wouldn't want to date short men.
Ok I gotta get on these "tags" before they pile up! ASAP. Tout de suite. Ahora. Etc. On my blog, no later than tomorrow.
your pen name is creepy? I am loving you so hard right now, you just don't know.
creepy is my favorite word!!!
nicky, you do!! I can't wait to read it. it's going to be fabulous. I will hit your blog tomorrow. can't wait :)
ok sweetie, haven't you read my blog I hate being tagged. Hate it!!
but lucky for you it is raining and I was hard up for a topic- soooo you wanted it I did it.....
now careful what you drink this week.....
I'm with you on the forearms. It's really bad for me to be in an office in summer when all the guys are rolling up their dress shirt sleeves. Rrrrrrr.
shroom, I'm sorry... I promise never to do it again. but, I appreciate that you did it. read it. loved it.
oh edgy, loving you and your forearm yen right now!
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