Katie Schwartz

My sister Kerri, is graduating this morning. I am so pro ud of the girl! We had dinner with my dad and Nick, youngest brother, last night, fab . I know it's a shitty picture. I was laughing when I took it. Cut a girl some slack. Is he not a riot?! So 21. I forgot what I was like when I was 21 and quickly remembered after 5-minutes. He's a great kid, brilliant and hilarsquared. The picture I took of my dad sucked ass. I'll get anothah one today, to post on Sunday. I owe the divine miss FreidaBee an e-stalk, my onlineBFFfaheva, CormacB and my Frannylish . By Sunday, everyone will be e-stalked back. Have a great weekend everyone. I know I am grossly behind on reading your fab bloggys. Sunday, I'm all ovah ya asses. XO

I meant to publish this on Friday when I wrote it. Keep that in mind. XOXO'ng it. It is hotter than a tropical climate dwelling gorilla's asshole outside. 93 degrees. I'm shvitsing myself into a God damned frenzy. Some of the headlines over the past 24 hours are so short bus , I can't believe it: Victoria's Secret Sued Over Thong Incident : A broad tried on what she said was a faulty V-string. She claimed that one of the decorative metalic objects whacked her in the eye. I'm blue that she sustained an eye injury, of course. I just can't get past faulty V-string because it's such a straightforward item. Child Molester Wins Lottery . I can't find the article (argh), just a Yahoo Answers about it. Anyway, what I couldn't believe is that, well, he won. Weird. Or, that he didn't want to give 50% of the money to the victims and to various organizations dedicated to helping victims of molestation. Dick move. Not that he was such a charmer to begin w...

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?! Guilt is my drug of choice. You know it and I know it. We would be nothing without each other. Peppered with shame, guilt blows heroin away, or so I'd like to assume. Moving the story along... Today has been the most surreal day of my life, I think. Surreal stirred and shaken on the rocks, that's how surreal my today has been. I woke up. I slept 8 hours straight, for me that's huge. Usually, I sleep 3-4 if I'm lucky. It was a heat-hot day. I was indoors for the most part, so it wasn't too overwhelming to deal with. The morning was busier than usual, lots of calls to make and e-stalks to respond to. I got a lot of writing done, very positive. Blood was drawn, thanks to my psychiatrist-daddy-of-doom. My best friend's dog, my dog's first best friend, died today. Nobody wants to be a member of the Dead Dog's Club. I'm sitting shiva for Jimmy, a sweet, loving, tender dog who had an incredible impact on everyone who met him....

To all of the fabbylish pappa's who read All the Way from Oy to Vey, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! Ya fabulous and ya dawta's love yas. Capisce?! Capisce!

Let's bullet point this bitch, shall we?! Long ass week from hell, though filled with beautiful moments. Deadlines galore, I'm glad about that. Awaiting feedback. Def on edge. I skew neurotic as often as possible. Big eye doctor appt on Monday or Tuesday, will know more on Monday. Noivous like nobody's bizola. I digress. An old friend who used to call me by my middle name Louie, popped up out of nowhere and it was great to hear from him. Missing another friend HARD, realizing that he never really was a friend to begin with, so I'm bluejewin' it for a minee. Running errands. Just bought two of Adam Deutsch's poetry books and I can't wait for them to arrive. Maybe I should stop listening to "Dr. Feelgood" and brush/floss and flee from the house for a minee. Yes, that's what I'll do. I've hit many of my favey blogs this AM and some dishy new ones, too, thanks to FranIAm and Politits. More reading ahead, to be sure. I'm off like a pro...

Yesterday morning, my sister Ker and I decided to hit a few gahoroohj sales. We began at Pete's for some butch Joe and schlepped around the hood. Nothing doing for blocks until we stumbled upon this situation: a gun packing, badge toting security guard. ?! He was 6ft. tall with a supple bosom and Charlie Chaplin eyebrows (plucked to perfection), a 14K gold plated chain around his neck and a heaaaaaaaaavy Greek accent. We circled the spot a few times, not sure we should risk it. Would he bust out his gun and point it in our direction if we picked up an item and held it longer than 2 minutes? 5 minutes? 7 minutes? Were the owners of the house selling high ticket tchoch? Were they famous? Infamous? After circling the house a few times, in the cheeriest tone, Agadore instructed us to park. We were curious and nervous, so we did. Aggie welcomed us a la Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island . This moment needed to be preserved on film. Pretending to take pictures of the garden, I positioned mys...